I can’t go to sleep

Woopdiedoo. I’m fucking awake.

AWESOME. GREAT. FABULOUS.

PLEASE LET ME JUST GO TO SLEEP

I had a good day too, I was gonna list the 10 things that went well today but NO. For some reason the universe doesn’t want me to

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

I’m too tired to do ANYTHING and it’s not even like I’m worried about stuff.

Haha on wait I am.

My essay. 650 words that I need to start all over again. Tomorrow. After calling Skidmore, after talking to the guidance office about Mt. Holyoke, after worrying about missing Calliope AGAIN, after so much.

God I just want to go to sleep.

But if I’m not thinking about THE ESSAY I have choir songs stuck in my head, I start overthinking the show, my relationships…

I thought about Allie for the first time in a long time. Weird. And Olivia, I often thing about her. And texting Genevieve… I don’t want to bore you with the details.

I’m the kind of person that focuses on a thing until it gets done. Which makes it really inconvenient when it’s 10:31pm and I can’t go to my guidance counsellor and ask what the hell is up, or call Skidmore to set up an interview, or start a draft of my essay, or text Brett and ask about my tailgaiting shirt, or start blocking the next scene that I’m blocking, or asking Genevieve about my essay prompts or…

Or, or, or. It’s always something.

I just wanna go to sleep.

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