I’ll Be There for You

The saddest thing about this year is that it all has an expiration date.

I finished watching Friends for the first time this time last year, and I’m just now realizing that a lot of last year is repeating this time around. There’s a lot of what ifs… Why couldn’t I have done it right?

Like in Friends… That’s the thing, I’m watching Friends and seeing  all of these things that are happening to me, and it’s like… If I were in my 20s or 30s, this wouldn’t be a problem! Life goes on uninterrupted, there aren’t any four year intervals that shatter any chance of anything because I’m not shipping off in ten months.

Like Phoebe and Rachel just said:

Phoebe: Isn’t it ironic that he liked you and now–

Rachel: Yeah no I got it.

THE IRONY. YEAH THANKS PHOEBE. I GOT IT.

It’s not like I haven’t spent the last month going over it again and again in my head lamenting why, Why, WHY did I have to act so stupidly last year. Although… I mean I guess I wasn’t ready. I know that I wasn’t ready last year. But the thing is, I think I might be ready now. Which is why it sucks, because if I had felt this way  this time last year, or if he felt the same way right now everything would’ve worked out. We could’ve been celebrating a one year anniversary rather than me pining backstage wanting to murder the two of them, because of my uncontrollable jealousy, and I’m not even a jealous person! Usually.

Uuuuuughhhhh.

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