You continue to be the source of my happiness. occasionally I read through our old texts and my old blog posts just to see how far we’ve come.
I’m so proud of us.
I went from not-quite-yours to hopelessly devoted to you in about three seconds flat. Well not quite three seconds. But the thought that from our first kiss to our first dinner only spanned a month is crazy to me.
Next month will be our six month anniversary, and those have been both the happiest and the hardest six months of my life. Why? Because of you. Because you make me happy; Your presence always makes me smile, I love hugging you and kissing you when I want to and not having to wait until the next time we can sneak away in a car or find a quiet corner of the school. I love holding your hand and going on dates with you and having you over for dinner because you remind me that yes, real gentlemen do exist somewhere other than my imagination.
But it has also been the hardest. Because I know that in a few short months I will be leaving you. No, I won’t break up with you, I’d rather break my own leg than do that, but I’ll be leaving Vermont and our perfect boy and girl next door story. Because we’ll be hundreds of mines away rather than a few yards. I have a hard time with my jealousy, and controlling my feelings of you being around girls without me there. I know its hypocritical, I mean I was the other woman once… and I trust you. I know you’re not going to do it again.
I was talking to Ms. Green today… I have a sneaking suspicion we will last. I mean I know we talk about it all the time, but today– its really been this week– where I’ve really felt like we’re going to be strong enough to make it. How could we not? We communicate like we were born doing it, and out physical and emotional chemistry is incredible.
But that’s the one thing that I love. Is that neither of us are perfect. But you’re perfect for me. We communicate with such honesty and openness that I’ve never experienced before. We’ve had to navigate things that some couples never will have to face, and we’ve dealt with it in a mature and adult way. Our relationship isn’t just a high school relationship. We’re sort of in an adult relationship where we’re planning the future together and we’re getting excited about a future together but apart.
You are my future. Wherever I go.
I love you.
I can’t wait to marry you.